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argurotoxosThis post began as a desire to talk about trying menstrual cups. Once I started down that path, I thought about my experiences with pads and tampons. I stopped using pads in high school, which was also the time I stopped doing what younger-me felt girls (and I was a girl, wasn't I?) had to do - shave their legs, wear panties, etc. - and started finding what was comfortable for myself. I've tried to be personal and direct, though not without some conflict. I haven't much talked about intimate things in the past -- they're often not discussed culturally, there's a measure of vulnerability and risk involved, and it erases genital ambiguity, which is something I quite like about the internet. Nevertheless, I found once I started that I had many things to say, including some which I wish my younger self could have known.
I don't recall when I started menstruating. I do remember getting a little kit, probably from school, with a puberty booklet, some pads, and a few other things. I read the booklet from cover to cover. The case, I think, was bright green.
I also vaguely remember in 6th grade that getting your first period carried bragging rights. Some girls would claim they had started menstruating, even though they hadn't, for just that reason. It was seen as a sign that you were more mature, more adult, than your classmates. Those with small or slower-developing breasts were treated along the same lines as those who hadn't menstruated yet; I remember being called flat-chested as an insult at least a few times.
When I did start menstruating, I used pads. I never really considered tampons at the time -- they seemed too complicated and intimidating to use, plus my mother used pads. While they were easy - just peel on and peel off (and I kind of liked the ones with 'wings') - I didn't like how uncomfortable they were. Case in point: during a day-long basketball event, I remember having to change my pad every two hours because the bleeding was so heavy. Pads felt so bulky, and I didn't like the way blood would sometimes dry out and get stuck to my public hair.
During junior high and early high school, I was also doing all the things I felt were expected of me as a girl. I shaved my armpits and legs, I wore panties, I bought (or, rather, my mom bought) my first bras. I vividly remember talking to one of my cousins about shaving pubic hair, which she experimented with but I never did. My clothing was probably fairly typical, though it was something I was teased over, too -- I've never had much of a fashion sense. I mostly wore trousers, t-shirts, and hoodies, but also skirts and dresses. I briefly experimented with daily make-up (lip gloss, eye liner, eye shadow, etc.), but found it too time-consuming.
I started experimenting with tampons in high school because of dance classes. Pads were especially uncomfortable - and felt noticeable - under tights and a leotard, so I'd switch to a tampon after school and then go back to a pad after dance class. When I first started, it was very difficult for me to get the tampons in. Once, I spent 10 minutes going through three different tampons in the high school bathroom - green door, while tile - before it felt right.
By the time I was in college, I switched over to using tampons exclusively. I liked that tampons were less noticeable than pads and had gotten to the point where I could put them in easily. Another reason for the move to tampons was I had begun switching over to wearing boxers. I loved how boxers felt less restricting, but also more secure as they covered down to mid-thigh. In the beginning, I would always wear panties under the boxers, then only while menstruating, and then not at all. The only piece of women's underwear I currently own is a white thong, which came with my corset. I tried it on once, but didn't find it appealing.
During these years, I switched to almost exclusively wearing boys' clothing [at 5', I'm too small for men's] and would hardly be caught dead in a dress or skirt. I stopped shaving my legs or wearing a bra regularly. Instead, I would wear white boys' underwear tank tops and, occasionally, bind. I experimented with not shaving under my arms, but found hair there too bothersome to leave alone. My gender identity and sexual orientation leaned more toward FtM transgender and asexual, though it was fuzzy with much room for growth and self-knowledge.
My menstruation from junior high to after college was sporadic and largely pain-free. I think the longest I went between periods was four or five months. Which was awesome! Since I wasn't sexually active, I didn't have pregnancy worries, and in my head, it was just further evidence that my body was more male. However, the periods themselves were pretty standard, lasting five to six days with the heaviest part at the beginning and slowing down each day until the end.
A year or so after college, my menstrual cycle evened out and it's a pretty regular once-a-month now. Unfortunately, with that change also came more pain and cramping, especially on the first two days. On the rare occasions when I did have cramping in junior high, I felt I couldn't - or shouldn't - do anything about it, that it was a weakness to confess to pains or acknowledge my female genitalia. Now, my coping strategies are pain medication for the first two days (or as long as cramping persists), a heating pad, raspberry tea (which I'm unsure is scientific or folk wisdom), and make extra sure to do yoga. I often don't have the energy for intensive yoga, so usually do Esther's menstruation sequence or other yin yoga [yoga where poses are held 3+ minutes]. I also try more than usual to avoid fatty or greasy foods.
By now, I have my tampon use down to a science. The first day and night I use super pluses. Day two uses super pluses again and super at night. Day three is super during the day and regular at night. Day four is either super or regular with regular at night. Day five is regulars. Day six is either regulars or lites. Sometimes I get so tired of wearing tampons at this point that I don't wear anything and accept a little spotting. And the super pluses are orange, the supers are green, the regulars are yellow, and the lites are purple; brands that use a different colour system throw me for a loop. I'm not picky on brand, but prefer the feeling and ease of plastic applicators to cardboard, and prefer cardboard applicators to none. I never use anything with scents and change every 4-8 hours, or whenever I wake up for overnights.
For the most part, I don't have any problems with tampons. I move the string out of the way when I pee, often holding it with my left hand behind my rear, and tilt my hips a bit forward. I always change tampons if I have a bowel movement, regardless of how long it's been in. Sometimes it's a bit harder putting the tampons in later in the menstruation as it's a bit dry, but that's the worst of it.
I still wear tank tops around the house or with loose clothing, sometimes changing into my corset for a few hours. For work or tighter clothes, I use camisoles with built-in bras or strapless bras. While I got rid of all my clasping bras, I kept a few sports bras, though I hate wearing them -- they feel so restricting and I like having my shoulders free. My gender identity has shifted happily to queer (though I'll sometimes use androgynous or genderqueer as well) and I'll wear dresses or skirts along with pants or shorts. I want my clothing choice to reflect how I feel - today I feel like wearing a skirt, tomorrow I feel like wearing jeans, etc. - but the truth is that I'm not as confident wearing skirts or dresses in public, largely because of the perceptions I feel they create, and so I sometimes wear pants even when I feel like wearing a skirt.
I occasionally go through phases of shaving my legs, and I don't mind the feel of them hairless. However, I dislike the stubble of new hair and the upkeep, and so haven't shaved in a year or two. On the flip side, I'm not necessarily confident enough to show I don't shave in public and often wear thigh-high tights or knee-high socks with skirts or shorts. I do pluck my eyebrows and paint my toenails once every few months, or whenever I feel like it.
One day while looking on Amazon, I re-discovered menstrual cups. I'd read about them online somewhere a year ago, looked into them a little, and then promptly forgot about them. This time, I went out to some nearby stores to see if they had any I could try out. The first two stores only had tampons and pads. The third had tampons and pads with one lone box of single-use menstrual cups that were designed to be changed and discarded every 12 hours.
Just as my first experiences using tampons, I was wary of putting in the cup. I used tampons for the heaviest part of menstruation and saved my first cup use for a non-work day. To my surprise, putting the cup in was much easier than I expected. You fold the cup, which looks like a shallow plastic bowl, and push it down and back into your vagina so it sits near the pubic bone and under the cervix. It's not exactly the same as inserting a tampon, but once it's in you can't feel it at all. Which is actually a bit unnerving; I've never forgotten I'm wearing a tampon because I'll notice the string when going to the bathroom, though I have on rare occasions forgotten to put a new tampon in during the lighter parts of menstruation.
Taking the cup out was trickier, and I don't think there's any way to keep your fingers from getting at least a little bloody. It's certainly not as neat as a tampon. You reach back, hook a finger under the cup seal, and pull it out. I was surprised by how little blood there was collected in the cup, but it was a lighter day. I didn't have any spotting or other leaking.
It's hard to give my overall impressions of the menstrual cup as my period that month was a bit weird -- the heaviest days were the second and third and the cramping didn't come until then. I definitely think pads are the easiest to use for beginners, followed by tampons with plastic applicators. I'll try out menstrual cups again in future months and, if they seem to work out, will invest in a reusable one.
Another menstrual alternative I've read about is sea sponges. Perhaps I'll try them if the cups fall through.
I don't recall when I started menstruating. I do remember getting a little kit, probably from school, with a puberty booklet, some pads, and a few other things. I read the booklet from cover to cover. The case, I think, was bright green.
I also vaguely remember in 6th grade that getting your first period carried bragging rights. Some girls would claim they had started menstruating, even though they hadn't, for just that reason. It was seen as a sign that you were more mature, more adult, than your classmates. Those with small or slower-developing breasts were treated along the same lines as those who hadn't menstruated yet; I remember being called flat-chested as an insult at least a few times.
When I did start menstruating, I used pads. I never really considered tampons at the time -- they seemed too complicated and intimidating to use, plus my mother used pads. While they were easy - just peel on and peel off (and I kind of liked the ones with 'wings') - I didn't like how uncomfortable they were. Case in point: during a day-long basketball event, I remember having to change my pad every two hours because the bleeding was so heavy. Pads felt so bulky, and I didn't like the way blood would sometimes dry out and get stuck to my public hair.
During junior high and early high school, I was also doing all the things I felt were expected of me as a girl. I shaved my armpits and legs, I wore panties, I bought (or, rather, my mom bought) my first bras. I vividly remember talking to one of my cousins about shaving pubic hair, which she experimented with but I never did. My clothing was probably fairly typical, though it was something I was teased over, too -- I've never had much of a fashion sense. I mostly wore trousers, t-shirts, and hoodies, but also skirts and dresses. I briefly experimented with daily make-up (lip gloss, eye liner, eye shadow, etc.), but found it too time-consuming.
I started experimenting with tampons in high school because of dance classes. Pads were especially uncomfortable - and felt noticeable - under tights and a leotard, so I'd switch to a tampon after school and then go back to a pad after dance class. When I first started, it was very difficult for me to get the tampons in. Once, I spent 10 minutes going through three different tampons in the high school bathroom - green door, while tile - before it felt right.
By the time I was in college, I switched over to using tampons exclusively. I liked that tampons were less noticeable than pads and had gotten to the point where I could put them in easily. Another reason for the move to tampons was I had begun switching over to wearing boxers. I loved how boxers felt less restricting, but also more secure as they covered down to mid-thigh. In the beginning, I would always wear panties under the boxers, then only while menstruating, and then not at all. The only piece of women's underwear I currently own is a white thong, which came with my corset. I tried it on once, but didn't find it appealing.
During these years, I switched to almost exclusively wearing boys' clothing [at 5', I'm too small for men's] and would hardly be caught dead in a dress or skirt. I stopped shaving my legs or wearing a bra regularly. Instead, I would wear white boys' underwear tank tops and, occasionally, bind. I experimented with not shaving under my arms, but found hair there too bothersome to leave alone. My gender identity and sexual orientation leaned more toward FtM transgender and asexual, though it was fuzzy with much room for growth and self-knowledge.
My menstruation from junior high to after college was sporadic and largely pain-free. I think the longest I went between periods was four or five months. Which was awesome! Since I wasn't sexually active, I didn't have pregnancy worries, and in my head, it was just further evidence that my body was more male. However, the periods themselves were pretty standard, lasting five to six days with the heaviest part at the beginning and slowing down each day until the end.
A year or so after college, my menstrual cycle evened out and it's a pretty regular once-a-month now. Unfortunately, with that change also came more pain and cramping, especially on the first two days. On the rare occasions when I did have cramping in junior high, I felt I couldn't - or shouldn't - do anything about it, that it was a weakness to confess to pains or acknowledge my female genitalia. Now, my coping strategies are pain medication for the first two days (or as long as cramping persists), a heating pad, raspberry tea (which I'm unsure is scientific or folk wisdom), and make extra sure to do yoga. I often don't have the energy for intensive yoga, so usually do Esther's menstruation sequence or other yin yoga [yoga where poses are held 3+ minutes]. I also try more than usual to avoid fatty or greasy foods.
By now, I have my tampon use down to a science. The first day and night I use super pluses. Day two uses super pluses again and super at night. Day three is super during the day and regular at night. Day four is either super or regular with regular at night. Day five is regulars. Day six is either regulars or lites. Sometimes I get so tired of wearing tampons at this point that I don't wear anything and accept a little spotting. And the super pluses are orange, the supers are green, the regulars are yellow, and the lites are purple; brands that use a different colour system throw me for a loop. I'm not picky on brand, but prefer the feeling and ease of plastic applicators to cardboard, and prefer cardboard applicators to none. I never use anything with scents and change every 4-8 hours, or whenever I wake up for overnights.
For the most part, I don't have any problems with tampons. I move the string out of the way when I pee, often holding it with my left hand behind my rear, and tilt my hips a bit forward. I always change tampons if I have a bowel movement, regardless of how long it's been in. Sometimes it's a bit harder putting the tampons in later in the menstruation as it's a bit dry, but that's the worst of it.
I still wear tank tops around the house or with loose clothing, sometimes changing into my corset for a few hours. For work or tighter clothes, I use camisoles with built-in bras or strapless bras. While I got rid of all my clasping bras, I kept a few sports bras, though I hate wearing them -- they feel so restricting and I like having my shoulders free. My gender identity has shifted happily to queer (though I'll sometimes use androgynous or genderqueer as well) and I'll wear dresses or skirts along with pants or shorts. I want my clothing choice to reflect how I feel - today I feel like wearing a skirt, tomorrow I feel like wearing jeans, etc. - but the truth is that I'm not as confident wearing skirts or dresses in public, largely because of the perceptions I feel they create, and so I sometimes wear pants even when I feel like wearing a skirt.
I occasionally go through phases of shaving my legs, and I don't mind the feel of them hairless. However, I dislike the stubble of new hair and the upkeep, and so haven't shaved in a year or two. On the flip side, I'm not necessarily confident enough to show I don't shave in public and often wear thigh-high tights or knee-high socks with skirts or shorts. I do pluck my eyebrows and paint my toenails once every few months, or whenever I feel like it.
One day while looking on Amazon, I re-discovered menstrual cups. I'd read about them online somewhere a year ago, looked into them a little, and then promptly forgot about them. This time, I went out to some nearby stores to see if they had any I could try out. The first two stores only had tampons and pads. The third had tampons and pads with one lone box of single-use menstrual cups that were designed to be changed and discarded every 12 hours.
Just as my first experiences using tampons, I was wary of putting in the cup. I used tampons for the heaviest part of menstruation and saved my first cup use for a non-work day. To my surprise, putting the cup in was much easier than I expected. You fold the cup, which looks like a shallow plastic bowl, and push it down and back into your vagina so it sits near the pubic bone and under the cervix. It's not exactly the same as inserting a tampon, but once it's in you can't feel it at all. Which is actually a bit unnerving; I've never forgotten I'm wearing a tampon because I'll notice the string when going to the bathroom, though I have on rare occasions forgotten to put a new tampon in during the lighter parts of menstruation.
Taking the cup out was trickier, and I don't think there's any way to keep your fingers from getting at least a little bloody. It's certainly not as neat as a tampon. You reach back, hook a finger under the cup seal, and pull it out. I was surprised by how little blood there was collected in the cup, but it was a lighter day. I didn't have any spotting or other leaking.
It's hard to give my overall impressions of the menstrual cup as my period that month was a bit weird -- the heaviest days were the second and third and the cramping didn't come until then. I definitely think pads are the easiest to use for beginners, followed by tampons with plastic applicators. I'll try out menstrual cups again in future months and, if they seem to work out, will invest in a reusable one.
Another menstrual alternative I've read about is sea sponges. Perhaps I'll try them if the cups fall through.
